Mom Strikes Again
My mom seems to get a lot of emails, which she promptly forwards to me for, uh...edification??? Anyway, here are a few George Carlin jokes she sent this morning:
1. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

4. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older; then it dawned on me.... they're cramming for their
final exam.

5. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons
and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

6. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
deliver the mail?

7. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?

8. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

9. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?