Next Chapter
With my dad's passing, I realize I am beginning a new chapter in my life. For the past 11 1/2 years I've been a caretaker at one level or another. Soon after my mom became independent again after her brain tumor, my dad moved to town so I could take care of him. On top of all that, my husband's mother died on Mothers' day in 1998 and his father died on Fathers' day of 2003. I realized today that James and I have barely known each other in "normal" times (if such times even exist). I expect some changes to come, but I'm not sure what they will be. I'm not sure who I am at this time. I still have things to do with my dad's estate, but after that, what? It all adds a strange mix of anticipation with my grief, which is really quite confusing. I told James is like being under a rain cloud as the rain is lifting and you can see sunlight on the western horizon. Its still dark, cold and rainy, but you have some measure of hope about the future.
With my dad's passing, I realize I am beginning a new chapter in my life. For the past 11 1/2 years I've been a caretaker at one level or another. Soon after my mom became independent again after her brain tumor, my dad moved to town so I could take care of him. On top of all that, my husband's mother died on Mothers' day in 1998 and his father died on Fathers' day of 2003. I realized today that James and I have barely known each other in "normal" times (if such times even exist). I expect some changes to come, but I'm not sure what they will be. I'm not sure who I am at this time. I still have things to do with my dad's estate, but after that, what? It all adds a strange mix of anticipation with my grief, which is really quite confusing. I told James is like being under a rain cloud as the rain is lifting and you can see sunlight on the western horizon. Its still dark, cold and rainy, but you have some measure of hope about the future.
posted by Jan at 9:07 PM
1 Comments:
Having gone through some rough times myself I know exactly what you mean. However lousy the path is there will always be a corner to turn. When times are bad I just keep looking for that next corner.
Cheryl
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