Parenthood
This is a reader participation post. I'd like to get a discussion going on what practical, everyday things parents can do to rear better children. There are a lot of good parents out there and if you ask them what it is they do to have such lovely children, they will usually just shrink back and say they got lucky. But my theory is that the parents are doing some things right and they just think everyone does those things. They don't realize that their own parents were special or that they are special. They just take some things for granted. You've seen these families. They enjoy each other, they touch each other gently, they make each other laugh.
Your mission is to find out what they are doing. "They" may be you. Dig down deep to find out what it is. It is probably something woven into your daily routines. Maybe its the way you talk to your children, maybe its how you teach, maybe its what you expect from them..... But, please be practical in your advice. "Just love them" is not enough. HOW do you put loving them into practice.
Please forward this post to someone you think is a wonderful parent and ask them to share with us. They can post a comment, or email you and you can post the comment. Responses may be anonymous. (To send this post, click on the time stamp at the end of this post and you will get a "permalink" in your address bar. Copy the address and paste it into an email).
To get the ball rolling, I will share a daily checklist I recieved from my Bible Study Fellowship (which we keep posted next to the dinner table as a reminder).
Today I:
_ Hugged my child and told him, "I love you and God loves you." (Luke 15:20)
_Prayed specifically for my child.
_Listened carefully when my child wanted to talk. (Matthew 18:5)
_Read to my child. (Proverbs 4:1-4)
_Discussed God with my child (Deuteronomy 4:9-10)
_Expected obedience from my child. (1 Timothy 3:4)
_Exhibited patience with my child. (1 Corinthians 13:4)
_Sang or listened to music with my child. (Psalm 8:2)
_Spoke about his other parent with loving respect. (Colossians 3:18-19)
_Did not expect behavior beyond his age capabilities. (1 Corinthians 13:11)
_Punished his disobedience with appropriate measures. (Jeremiah 17:10)
_Helped my child learn something new about Jesus. (Luke 2:52)
_Encouraged my child to do something for someone else. (Galatians 6:10)
_Protected my child from evil and harmful influences. (1 Corinthians 13:6,7)
_Challenged and helped my child to do something he thought he could not do. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)
_ Did not punish my child when I was angry. (Psalm 103:8-14)
_Exhibited good manners for my child to model. (Matthew 7:9-12)
_Commended my child for a Christ-like quality. (Galatians 5:22-23)
_Read the Bible to my child. (2 Timothy 3:15)
_Prayed with my child. (Matthew 18:19-20)
_Modeled only the attributes I want my child to emulate. (1Comrinthians 4:16)
_Laughed with, not at, my child. (Romans 12:15)
_Thanked my child for something he did. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
_Gave my child some responsibility. (Titus 3:14)
_Did not talk negatively about my child in his presence. (Proverbs 12:18)
_Praised and thanked my child more than I criticized him. (Proverbs 16:24)
_Asked my child's forgiveness when I was wrong. (James 4:6)
_Forgave my child immediately (2 Corinthians 2:7-8)
_Encouraged my child to trust God (Proverbs 3:5-6)
_Did not make a promise to my child that I cannot keep (Ecclesiasted 5:5)
This is a reader participation post. I'd like to get a discussion going on what practical, everyday things parents can do to rear better children. There are a lot of good parents out there and if you ask them what it is they do to have such lovely children, they will usually just shrink back and say they got lucky. But my theory is that the parents are doing some things right and they just think everyone does those things. They don't realize that their own parents were special or that they are special. They just take some things for granted. You've seen these families. They enjoy each other, they touch each other gently, they make each other laugh.
Your mission is to find out what they are doing. "They" may be you. Dig down deep to find out what it is. It is probably something woven into your daily routines. Maybe its the way you talk to your children, maybe its how you teach, maybe its what you expect from them..... But, please be practical in your advice. "Just love them" is not enough. HOW do you put loving them into practice.
Please forward this post to someone you think is a wonderful parent and ask them to share with us. They can post a comment, or email you and you can post the comment. Responses may be anonymous. (To send this post, click on the time stamp at the end of this post and you will get a "permalink" in your address bar. Copy the address and paste it into an email).
To get the ball rolling, I will share a daily checklist I recieved from my Bible Study Fellowship (which we keep posted next to the dinner table as a reminder).
Today I:
_ Hugged my child and told him, "I love you and God loves you." (Luke 15:20)
_Prayed specifically for my child.
_Listened carefully when my child wanted to talk. (Matthew 18:5)
_Read to my child. (Proverbs 4:1-4)
_Discussed God with my child (Deuteronomy 4:9-10)
_Expected obedience from my child. (1 Timothy 3:4)
_Exhibited patience with my child. (1 Corinthians 13:4)
_Sang or listened to music with my child. (Psalm 8:2)
_Spoke about his other parent with loving respect. (Colossians 3:18-19)
_Did not expect behavior beyond his age capabilities. (1 Corinthians 13:11)
_Punished his disobedience with appropriate measures. (Jeremiah 17:10)
_Helped my child learn something new about Jesus. (Luke 2:52)
_Encouraged my child to do something for someone else. (Galatians 6:10)
_Protected my child from evil and harmful influences. (1 Corinthians 13:6,7)
_Challenged and helped my child to do something he thought he could not do. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)
_ Did not punish my child when I was angry. (Psalm 103:8-14)
_Exhibited good manners for my child to model. (Matthew 7:9-12)
_Commended my child for a Christ-like quality. (Galatians 5:22-23)
_Read the Bible to my child. (2 Timothy 3:15)
_Prayed with my child. (Matthew 18:19-20)
_Modeled only the attributes I want my child to emulate. (1Comrinthians 4:16)
_Laughed with, not at, my child. (Romans 12:15)
_Thanked my child for something he did. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
_Gave my child some responsibility. (Titus 3:14)
_Did not talk negatively about my child in his presence. (Proverbs 12:18)
_Praised and thanked my child more than I criticized him. (Proverbs 16:24)
_Asked my child's forgiveness when I was wrong. (James 4:6)
_Forgave my child immediately (2 Corinthians 2:7-8)
_Encouraged my child to trust God (Proverbs 3:5-6)
_Did not make a promise to my child that I cannot keep (Ecclesiasted 5:5)
posted by Jan at 2:10 PM
2 Comments:
One thing we do is talk to our children on the way to where we are going. We tell them what we'll be doing, how long it will last and what they can and cannot do while we are there. This way they never walk in blind to any situation and they know the rules beforehand, so it is easier to enforce them once we arrive. Also, if they misbehave, we always remove them from others before we discipline. We don't believe embarassment is an appropriate punishment, but try to discipline respectfully.
I picked this up from an Oprah episode - so, for that I apologize :) but it has always stuck with me:
Your eyes should light up EVERY TIME your child enters the room.
That is very easy for us right now - it's a natural reaction to a sweet, happy, adorable boy, but I'm sure at some point I'll have to remind myself.
We are so blessed! Tonigh Elijah seemed to know I wasn't feeling well - he kept coming over to me in my chair, putting his head on my arm and patting me, saying, "mama mama mama." He melts my heart!
Angi L.
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