Friday, April 14, 2006

The Rules of Summer

Thought I'd pass along The Rules, which I received today via email:

As a member of the Diva Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes.

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not bulge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back in to place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages
.

I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get an even better one.

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

2 Comments:

Blogger CGHill said...

Bless you. If these rules became universal, they'd do more for the appearance of this town than the LitterBlitz.

10:58 PM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger untouchable said...

have to disagree about the beauty school thing. you are receiving the SAME service as at an expensive salon for a fraction of the price. i am enrolled at a beauty school and know this for certain.

4:30 PM, April 20, 2006  

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