Monday, September 19, 2005

Heart Breaker
My little Spencer has big beautiful eyes accentuated by long lashes. It is the first thing most people notice about him and usually the first (and only) thing they say about him. "My, he has such long eyelashes, he'll be a heartbreaker!" or "What beautiful eyelashes. Why do the boys always get the eyelashes?" or "I wish I had eyelashes like that."

Nobody in our family, including Spencer, can help but notice the attention the eyelashes get. Occassionally somebody will realize they've left out Colin and they'll say, "Why, they both have long eyelashes, don't they?" Neither of the boys gleams with pride. Instead, they turn away and look for a place to hide. Eyelash attention embarasses them. It even embarasses me. I'd rather they get a compliment for a good handshake or for holding the door open for others. Eyes are something they just got.

"Spencer, did you cut your eyelashes?"
"No."
"Who cut your eyelashes?"
"Nobody."
"Did you use a mirror when you did it?"
"No."
"How did you know what you were doing?"
{shrugs}
"Well, why did you cut your eyelashes?"
"I dint."
"Is it because you get embarassed about them."
{nods yes}
"Well, please don't do it again. It can be dangerous. Okay?"
"Okay."

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6 Comments:

Blogger Kingery Family Blog said...

What's wrong with appreciating beauty? Maybe God gave him those eyelashes as an attention getter? Should we not notice or comment on an exquisite sunset, because it just is?

9:46 AM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger babyivanov said...

I cannot read this without shuddering... how dangerous... he could have poked himself in the eye with scissors! KP

1:12 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger Jan said...

Point taken, and perhaps I need to have my eyes opened here, but I do see some problem with praising people for beauty alone. Notice I said it is usually the only thing people say about Spencer: he has long eyelashes. Sometimes they add that he'll be a heartbreaker. If you tell a child he is beautiful and he'll be a heartbreaker, that's who he will think he is - and it may be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'd rather instill in him a sense of confidence in his decision-making or kindness.

Of course, maybe there is some middle ground. Perhaps the eyelashes are a gift from God for the purpose of getting attention. I don't know why he would give a gift for the purpose of getting attention. That's where I'm blind, I suppose. What would that purpose be?

Finally, there is nothing wrong with appreciating beauty. Beauty is not always in the eyelashes, though.

1:12 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger Kingery Family Blog said...

I notice you are a Van Gogh fan, I am too. My eyes cannnot get enough of his art. It inspired me to get to know the artist. I have read up on his life. He struggled with his relationship with God and man. His painting titled "lilies" makes me cry.. Anyway...I do think God draws our attention with beauty...of course it is an attribute that can and has been corrupted. What matters most is what parents tell their child. Hopefully, even the plainest will be made to feel beautiful, talented, appreciated and worthy of attention...

1:47 PM, September 20, 2005  
Anonymous Dwayne "the canoe guy" said...

I had a similar problem growing up. I have curly hair & heard crap like that all the time. Add to that my folks telling me that breadcrust makes your hair curlier almost made me swear off bread.

Now? I eat my crust & enjoy my curly (graying) hair

10:01 AM, September 23, 2005  
Blogger blestwithsons said...

At least what he did makes sense! My oldest came out of the bedroom a few months ago saying his eye hurt. I took a good look and found that he had pulled out a swath of his eyelashes leaving a bare space about half an inch wide!!! It matched the gap in his teeth! I asked him why and got the classic "I dunno"

7:40 PM, October 04, 2005  

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